Sunday, May 20, 2012

In the name of "friendship"

I received an e-mail from a friend of mine on January 25. We have been friends for about 19 years now. We met when we both worked at the same portrait studio. Our children were close in age and our husbands were both in the Army at the time our friendship developed. I have enjoyed this woman's friendship most of the time. I acknowledge that she is one of a very limited few to whom I feel I can share my secrets with. We have maintained our friendship through moves, through time, and through changes of fortunes.

In her e-mail of 1/25, she accused me of wanting the friendship to end, that I wasn't holding up my end of the bargain, that I haven't been available enough to her. This same theme has popped up now and again throughout my schooling. Each and every time it starts with "Have I done something wrong?" and ends with accusations of "It's a shame that with your new friends you don't have time for me any more, I feel as though you've put me on a shelf until you have no one else to turn to."

I wrote back in a moment of frustration and anger. I swear, through no fault of her own, these letters arrive at the worst possible time. When I am dealing with issues with my instructors, or my classes, or my frustration levels at clinicals. Nursing school is hard... at least for me it is.. it's about organization (which I seriously lack), it's about time management (which I seriously lack), and it's about a whole lot of studying (which I take seriously).

I had an epiphany in the shower this morning. I realized that I have been there for her everytime she has truly needed support. I have been the best friend to her that I could be. And when I need that understanding back... for just a few more months... she chose to make it about her instead. I'm done. I am so done.

I am one test away from being an RN!

Oh my! This semester flew by! All my doubts about wanting to be an RN are gone. This last semester allowed us to work as an RN with training wheels. We had full patient loads, we worked with amazing professionals and we had plenty of opportunities to practice our skills. I can't wait to get started in this new career.

In other family news, the whole family is moving somewhere, but we are not moving as a family. Kendra and her fiance Tyler are moving back to Enterprise to start new jobs and plan their wedding for summer 2013. Kimberly is moving from the house she shared with her siblings to her own apartment in Troy (where she is starting her junior year in Journalism). Mac is transferring to Auburn for the fall semester, having decided to major in aerospace engineering. Paul and I are moving to Huntsville. The fun part of this equation is the house the kids have been sharing has to be vacated by end of May and our moving dates (for my house) are in the first week of June. 

On the plus side, Tyler and Kendra have already found an apartment and they take the keys on May 25; Mac and Paul arranged an apartment for Mac in Auburn; we have our new address for Huntsville. The only one we still need to find housing for is Kim. And that adventure begins tomorrow.

I'm hoping to schedule my NCLEX exam for the end of June. This will give me plenty of time to review and solidify a lot of the concepts we've gone over for the last two years while helping everyone to move where they need to be. I have my temporary license, so I can start looking for positions in Huntsville as soon as we get up there!