Mood Swings in the aftermath

It's been a very long and trying week. In fact, it's hard to believe everything that has "gone down" has happened in just a five day span!

On Monday Paul and I had to dash up to Troy to pull all of Kendra's personal belongings from her car (police had the cars quarantined while they took pictures, etc.). When we arrived at the lot, we took a bit of time to take pictures of her car as well as the car that hit her. Just in case we decide to bring a civil suit against the man.

After the pictures were taken, I opened up the driver door. I was not prepared for how it all would look. I was not prepared to see my daughter's blood dried up in pools here and there on the seats and in the tray between the seats. I wasn't prepared to see how much damage occured within the car. I cried. I was so shocked.. all I could do was cry. I am grateful that Paul can be here during all this. He keeps me grounded.. without him I would have been a rampaging, insane mama bear. Still, I'm glad we don't have to see that car again. It did what it was supposed to do (protect our daughter), and I am glad for that.. but I don't want to see it again.

On Tuesday, we had to take a car up to Kendra for her use (foolish us for not doing it on Monday, but at the same time.. I'm not sure I was ready to face Kendra after seeing her car). We took Kim up with us so she could visit with her sister during dinner.

Wednesday I had a luncheon I no longer wanted to attend, but Paul insisted since we missed last months we needed to be at this one. On a side note, it did end up being a very nice , if a bit long, lunch.

Yesterday Kendra and I saw her doctor again because Kendra has begun to experience dizzy spells and is having a lot of pain and numbness in her left knee. Too early to tell, but the numbness could indicate permanent nerve damage. She still has a lot of fluid in her knees, which may be pressing on the nerve bundle... so there is hope that once the swelling goes down further, her feeling will return. OH.. and on a side note, I noticed that Kendra has lost 7 lbs since the accident.

Paul flew up to Huntsville with one aircraft and then drove back in a rental car. We had to pick him up in Dothan (a 45 min drive). No problem... we made an evening of it (the kids and I that is), and left early enough to have dinner and do a bit of shopping before meeting Paul at the airport. Of course, then we discovered that there was no Enterprise counter for the car, so Paul had to drive it all the way home.

Interwoven through all of that were countless calls between the various insurance companies.

I'm not proud of my behavior this week. Oh mind you, I've been nice to the outside world, but I have really been unfair and unkind to Paul. I am stressed. I am resenting his departure on Sunday when so much of this is still up in the air. The Army is not a hearing entity, so it's not like I can bitch at it. My venting is done at Paul..... although I've been careful NOT to use you messages, I know he is still kind of reeling from some of the things I've said.

Today we are running around returning rental cars to various locations, having lunch.. and trying to carve a little bit of couple time for ourselves before the kids get home this afternoon. All while he's trying to make sure he takes care of business at work before he leaves on Sunday (4 weeks to Yuma).