My mother in law passed away this month. She had a stroke and fell in her home. She wasn't discovered for two days. By the time she arrived at the hospital, she was dehydrated and she had paralysis on the left side. The initial prognosis was guarded, but as she realized that she would be unlikely to continue quilting, I think she made the decision to just slip away. It probably was a little easier (to choose to slip away) because she had an active brain bleed that they couldn't fix. 

Following her passing, we discovered that she never had a will done up. My father in law passed away in 2019 following hip replacement surgery without a will. I think she meant to be sure that something existed in writing for when she passed away, but Covid-19 drove all of us into isolation and these things were never addressed. 

However she was an avid quilter and she left many beautiful quilts behind. Three sons with three daughter-in-laws. In all the years that we visited, she only ever voiced preferences about whom should get which quilts about one daughter in law specifically. It wasn't me. One of the quilts that I most hoped would be mine had been "left" to the daughter in law that doesn't quilt. As well as several other quilts that all of us had admired and wanted. The third daughter in law (to join the family) and I both quilt, both enjoyed this past time with our mother in law. The only spoken plan I heard for the two of us is that we could have the quilts that needed to be finished (and specifically only one each). Other than that, there was nothing in writing to determine which quilts should go to whom. 

My heart is broken for so many reasons. I loved this woman. I have been a part of this family the longest. I am her son's first wife. I shared many quilting adventures with her. But she left nothing specifically for me.  And worse, I now think of the many times she "teased" me about such things as my children looking nothing like her son (they do) and how well did I know the milkman anyway. She thought she was being funny. But it was hurtful and disrespectful. And as a final parting gift, she leaves me feeling that maybe she didn't care much for me at all. That the relationship I thought we had was nothing but a farce. She leaves behind so many questions and no answers for how she's treated me and mine.